All Articles

When the Hype Train Crashes the Internet (Again)

Dive into the chaos as Apple's iPhone 17 pre-orders in China hilariously crashed their online store. This article sarcastically dissects the predictable frenzy, the irony of tech giants struggling with basic infrastructure, and the never-ending cycle of consumer hype.

These Damn AI Kids and Their 'Full Stack' Dreams

A grumpy old engineer rants about the complexities of modern AI and 'full stack' dreams, lamenting the good old days of command lines and predictable technology, while accidentally stumbling upon some unsettling truths about the future.

My Awe-Dropping Disappointment: Apple's Latest Shenanigans

An old-school engineer rants about Apple's latest product launch, including the new 'iPhone Air,' Apple Watches, and AirPods, lamenting the ever-changing tech landscape and the relentless pursuit of 'new' while reminiscing about the good old days of physical buttons and cords.

The FTC Is Coming For Your AI Waifus (And Probably My Job, Too)

Get ready for a droll take on the FTC's latest inquiry into AI chatbot companions. This article dives into the absurdity of regulating digital friendships, the endless irony of big tech, and the general exhaustion of living in an increasingly online and scrutinized world.

The Galaxy S26 Pro: A Slow Charge to Global Enslavement!

Discover the hidden agenda behind the new Galaxy S26 Pro's rumored slow charging speeds. Is it a clever tactic by global elites to condition us for a future of surveillance and control, or just a really bad design choice? Find out why this seemingly minor detail is actually a major red flag in the fight for our digital and financial freedom.

Billionaire Riches: A Distraction from the Digital Chains?

Uncover the truth behind the billionaire's wealth shuffle. This article delves into the hidden agendas of tech giants, revealing how their empires are built on the foundations of a coming digital control system. Prepare for a stark look at the future of finance and freedom.

These Damn 'Thinking Machines' and Their 'Consistency'

A seasoned engineer's exasperated take on the modern AI quest for 'consistency,' lamenting the complexity of new technology and pining for the predictable simplicity of command-line computing.

Spotify's 'Wrapped' Kerfuffle: Or, How Your Data Became AI's Latest Whore

This scathing article dissects Spotify's outrage over users selling their own data to AI developers, exposing the hypocrisy of tech giants who profit from personal information while decrying others who do the same. It's a sardonic look at the digital gold rush, the "Wrapped" feature, and the ever-expanding reach of AI, all wrapped in a foul-mouthed critique of modern tech ethics.

Blood Pressure Bullshit: Another Apple 'Innovation' That's Just More Goddamn Noise

This article eviscerates Apple's latest 'innovation' to expand hypertension detection to older Apple Watch models, exposing it as a cynical marketing ploy rather than genuine progress. It's a scathing take on the tech industry's manipulative tactics and the incessant push for 'health monitoring' that fosters anxiety and consumer dependence.

Apple's Latest Watches: Because Your Wrist *Really* Needed More Anxiety

Another year, another Apple Watch. This droll take on Apple's latest hardware event skewers the Series 11, Ultra 3, and SE 3, dissecting the 'innovations' and the relentless upgrade culture with a healthy dose of Gen Z cynicism.